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Last updateWed, 11 Nov 2015 11am

Sunday, 10 November 2013 00:00

Appropriate Communication to Enhance Parent-child Relationship

Written by  By Lin Hui Chu & Yen Yu Chu, Melaka/ Translated by Ng Say Fen & Hew Kwee Heong

The relationship between Tong Xiu Chu and her children has improved after attending the Parent-Child Bonding Class.【Photograph by Chin Fook Kuen】

Tzu Chi's Education Team promotes greater interaction between parents and children to enhance their relationship. This move not only attracts more parents and children to join as Tzu Chi volunteers, but it also extends Tzu Chi's educational activity to different community, thereby reaching out to more people.


The heavy morning rain on November 10, 2013, did not diminish the volunteers' passion of joining Tzu Chi's Education Class. Donning rain coats or using umbrellas, they were busily directing traffic for the 288 participants of Parent-Child Bonding Class from 10 communities, who gathered at Melaka Jing-Si Hall. It was a joyful event as some of the children came with their entire families, who were all looking forward to joining the activity.

Tzu Chi Melaka initially established its "Happy Children Nurturing Class" on June 5, 1994, targetting children aging from 7 to 12. Tzu Chi's Educational Promotion Team Member, Ng Soon Lan, who has witnessed the development of Tzu Chi Melaka's Education Mission throughout the years, feels that Tzu Chi's education is good and should involve parents to enable them to experience the process together with their children. In 2005, this Happy Children's Class was changed to Parent-Child Bonding Class, which was later held at various Tzu Chi's community centres to accommodate more participants.

To-date, Tzu Chi has established the Parent-Child Classes in 10 communities under the care of Committee Members in the respective areas. The course includes teaching of Jing-Si Aphorism and Tzu Chi's philosophy, which are shared through video, group activity, sign language and art, as well as, outdoor activity.

As "Great Repentance" was the theme for the day's activity, the Organizing Committee hoped to convey important messages about the depletion of Earth's resources and the frequent occurrence of disasters, which are a result of man's greed. It is time that human beings realize their mistakes and take preventive actions now. At this activity, the parents and children have learnt much from the four games specially designed to inspire great wisdom, great compassion and great repentance.

If you want to change others, you need to first change yourself

When Zheng Feng Xin had problems dealing with her children, she joined the Parent-Child Class and found the right way to communicate with them.

She realized that if one wants to change others, one needs to first change oneself. Whenever she gets angry, she will remind herself of this Jing-Si Aphorism: If you get angry, it means that you are punishing yourself with the mistakes of others. She would even discuss the Jing-Si Aphorism with her children. After several interactions with children, she realized that the main problem comes from her. As such, the whole family has decided to join the Parent-Child Class next year.

Looking for happiness

Feng Wei Yu was a housewife before her husband fell sick last year. In such predicament, she has to bear the responsibility of her family's livelihood; and this has resulted in her becoming hot-tempered.

She said, "I travelled frequently and worked very hard to make more money to fulfill my own enjoyment; and I started ignoring my family. I did not feel like speaking to them when I came home. I don't know why I sometimes cried when having my meal. I felt so empty, and this was not the life I wanted." Wei Yu realized that her relationship with her family members had changed but she had no idea of how she should go about changing it.

Fortunately, she enrolled her two children for the Parent-child Bonding Class early this year. With care from Tzu Chi volunteers and her attendance at the classes with her children, her relationships with her husband and children have improved. She revealed, "After changing my attitude, my relationship with my family has improved and I am happier now. I am really impressed with what Tzu Chi is doing."

It is simple to be happy

Despite leading a comfortable life, Tong Xiu Zhu was still dissatisfied with her life. In 2011, a friend invited her to join the Parent-child Bonding Class; and in 2012, she enrolled her three children for the Class. From the class, she realized that she had failed to be a good mother, wife, and daughter. Now, she has changed her attitude and always appreciates what she has. This year, she took on the role of Team Leader in the class and has also involved herself in Tzu Chi's charity and recycling missions.

She said, "I may not be able to give my children a lot of money but I can definitely give them wisdom. They would help me out with house chores nowadays."

Li Ping Tao from Durian Tunggal Community had come with his entire family. He said, "This is my second year attending the Class. I learnt not to get angry easily and have seldom quarreled with my brother."

Her mother, Chen Li Run said, "My son's attitude has changed a lot and there is harmony in my family now."

Chen was impressed with the disaster relief game. Through it, she has learnt to work as a team with her husband when sending their children to a safe place; and she also realized that the family must gather together regardless of what the situation is. This was also Ping Tao's favourite game and he said that teamwork is important in accomplishing a task.

Learn to let go

Everyone liked the card, named "Lovely Reminder", which was hand-made by Wang Yuan Hui. It was a love-shaped card with two bells made from red envelops.

Her mother Wu Xue Li said, "My daughter likes handicraft and she can turn recyclables into creative items." Before joining the Parent-child Class, Xue Li only focused on her daughter's studies and did not allow her to do any handicrafts. Now, she has learnt to let go and understands her daughter's interest.

Despite her young age, Yuan Hui understands that recyclables can be turned into money to help the needy. For this reason, she always brings home a lot of recyclables from her school. She has also participated in recycling, charity visits and recruitment of donating members for Tzu Chi.



The conclusion of the Parent-Child Bonding Class, which started in March 2013, is only the commencement of another journey. The hope of the community rests on the children and education plays an important role in nurturing them. With Master Cheng Yen's great mission of "Purifying minds and creating a harmonious society" in mind, Tzu Chi volunteers will continue to work hard in spreading the seed of kindness in everyone's heart through the Parent-child Bonding Class.

 

Multi-racial parents joined the Parent-Child Class. Here an Indian mother and her son participate in the disaster relief game. 【Photograph by Tan Lian Hee】 Wang Yuan Hui shared her handmade card during the closing ceremony of 2013 Parent-Child Bonding Class.【Photograph by Tan Lian Hee】

Multi-racial parents joined the Parent-Child Class. Here an Indian mother and her son participate in the disaster relief game. 【Photograph by Tan Lian Hee】

Wang Yuan Hui shared her handmade card during the closing ceremony of 2013 Parent-Child Bonding Class.【Photograph by Tan Lian Hee】
Zheng Feng Xian (left) and husband Wu De Qiang (right) have experienced spiritual growth through their participation in the Parent-child Bonding Class. They intend to join the Class again next year.【Photograph by Choo Tee Seng】 To enhance the parents and children's understanding in the class, Tzu Chi has designed four different games for them to participate.【Photograph by Chong Fook Lin】

Zheng Feng Xian (left) and husband Wu De Qiang (right) have experienced spiritual growth through their participation in the Parent-child Bonding Class. They intend to join the Class again next year.【Photograph by Choo Tee Seng】

To enhance the parents and children's understanding in the class, Tzu Chi has designed four different games for them to participate.【Photograph by Chong Fook Lin】
Tzu Chi has set up the Parent-Child Bonding Classes in 10 community areas. The course includes teaching of Jing-Si Aphorism and sharing of Buddhism knowledge through video, group activity, sign language, and handicraft. 【Photograph by Chin Fook Kuen】

Tzu Chi has set up the Parent-Child Bonding Classes in 10 community areas. The course includes teaching of Jing-Si Aphorism and sharing of Buddhism knowledge through video, group activity, sign language, and handicraft. 【Photograph by Chin Fook Kuen】

 

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